Well, I am quite emphatically not pregnant yet again.

I went out to dinner with a friend last night who asked, "So... anything new and exciting to report?!"
"Nope," I said. And then I thought, not unless you're counting the crime scene in my lady garden.

One of the (many) awful parts of this whole thing is feeling like you're constantly disappointing people. I know my parents are holding their breath for me to be pregnant again so they don't have to keep feeling guilty about celebrating my sister in law's upcoming baby. (Due a week before my former due date, yay me!) My friends want me to stop being so sad all the time, and I'm sure my husband would love a respite from the monthly rollercoaster of emotions. (CD 1: I'm so sad! CD 2: Well, it's a fresh start. CD 7: I have a good feeling about this month! CD 12 - 18: OMGOMGOMGOMG inseminate me! CD 21: Is it too early to test? It's probably too early. Well, I'll test anyway. CD 22: Shit. Negative. I'm never going to get pregnant. CD 23 - 27: Negative. Negative. Negative. Hmm, maybe I should try a different brand of pregnancy test? CD 28: Still negative. I'll just be taking this bottle of wine and retiring to bed for the rest of the day. I'm so sad.)

This month, I'm trying not to try. I'm going to do my best to stay away from the basal thermometer and Fertility Friend and the thrice-daily "oil check" for fertile cervical mucus and all of that. I don't think it's any more likely to make a baby, but I think it's a lot less likely to make me crazy. So there's that.