Apparently, there's a rumor going around my office that I'm pregnant - three people have come up to me in the last few days to say, "Congratulations! I didn't know that you were expecting!" Argh.

The first two times, I just said, "Huh? No, I'm not, but thanks - I'll let you know when I am." Finally, this morning, I pulled the congratulator aside and said, "I'm not expecting. Can I ask where you heard that?" She told me, and I said, "I was pregnant, but now I'm not anymore and it's difficult for me to hear that. Would you mind letting folks know that the rumor isn't true so that I don't have to hear it anymore?" She was really sympathetic and told me she'd set the record straight.

I suspect that the source was one of our receptionists - in December, I had a bunch of packages delivered from maternity clothing stores, and whoever signed from them probably assumed that in a few months, it would be public knowledge. Unfortunately, rather than being eight months pregnant right now, I'm... just not.

So until the news makes it's way through the grapevine, I'm trying to figure out what I can do so that everyone knows I'm not knocked up. Here's what I've got so far:

- Walking around the office swigging from a bottle of tequila. (Pro: will be nice and drunk for any more awkward congratulatory incidents. Con: might get shipped off to rehab for openly boozing during work hours.)
- Throw a "Soft Cheese and Tuna Salad Party" in the conference room. (Pro: delicious snacks! Con: everyone will hate me for stinking up the joint.)
- Post my Fertility Friend chart on my office door. (Pro: everyone will know they should be extra nice to me during PMS week. Con: everything else.)

Any ideas?